Until last week, this was the quality banter in my household every time I got dressed for a workout, invariably a combo of t-shirt and faded, shrunken trousers:
GARETH:
Did your cat die?
ME:
[eyeroll] No… pray tell, why?
GARETH:
Because your trousers are at half mast! Bwahahhaha!*
Until last week my workout trousers, or pants to non-UK folks, were far too short. I usually buy basic boring black ones from Marks & Spencer. They’re under a tenner and last for ages except for one annoying factor – they always seem to get shorter after a few washes.
Thus the world was treated to an eyeful of glamourous white sock every time I went on my walks. Like a clown. Or Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face, except three times as wide.

Trudging the streets in a constant state of “mourning” these past couple of years, it didn’t cross my mind to get new dacks. It was a combination of tightarse factor and fat factor. There was nothing functionally wrong with the two pairs I’ve had on rotation. Sure they were too short and more grey than black, but they made my lower half decent and I wanted to lose weight anyway. Why waste money and the earth’s resources?
But the lard busting had not happened and I felt more frumpy and ridiculous by the day. So last week I splashed out £9.50 on a new pair. And this time I got them in the Long length instead of Medium.
What a revelation! M&S say their Long length is for 5’9″ and over and since I’m 5’8″ I was always, OH NO they’re not for the likes of me! But with the shrinkage factor turns out they’re just right. I instantly felt 98% less of a twat on my walks!
In our Up & Running e-courses we always say don’t worry too much about workout gear – as long as you’ve got reasonably comfy clothes, the sports bra and shoes are the most important thing. We don’t want anyone to go bankrupt in the name of technical fabrics! But I reckon that no matter your budget and body size, a workout can feel so much better when your clothes fit properly. Whether it’s Primark or Puma, I just feel more purposeful, sporty and sparkly. It’s like saying, you are worth the effort. Not some Slinky You of the Future. You, as you are, right now. Now let’s get moving!
So I wouldn’t say clothes necessarily maketh the runner (or power walker, in my case), but they do maketh me happier to get my butt out the door.
* Apparently the Dead Cat joke was in vogue at Gareth’s primary school, used when a peer went through a growth spurt but didn’t have new trousers to match!
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